Courage. Connect. Change.
Those three words primarily inform my psychotherapy practice. It takes courage for us to reach out for help. I give you a ton of credit for taking this first step. For many of us, we haven't had a family system or relationships that have encouraged us to ask for support. Often times asking for help is associated with hurt feelings, disappointment, or even worse shame.
Creating a secure connection is vital to health and wellness. We are biologically driven to connect with others. We need to feel connected to our primary relationships just as much as we need oxygen to our lungs. It isn't something that only babies or young children need, we never outgrow the urge. It's a primal instinct. We crave our parent or partner to be accessible, responsive and engaged throughout our lifespan.
I bear witness to the miracle of change every day... In the form of a partner courageous enough to take down their wall of withdrawal and connect intimately... A child's anxiety dissipates once they feel like they don't need to worry about their parent anymore... A man's depression markedly decreases once he connects to his core yearnings and desires... A woman feeds herself after years of spiritual and physical starvation. Change happens within the context of a safe and nurturing relationship. The best way to illustrate this phenomena is to watch a toddler or young child explore their environment. Paradoxically, they need the safe harbor of their parent to return to, in order to explore and develop independence. The therapeutic relationship can act as this safe harbor to facilitate growth.